gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Can I color on your dick again?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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