do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
