i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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