How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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