she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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