that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
