So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
