The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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