Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
