Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
