; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
