dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
