He had one of those small greek statue penises
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
