Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
