Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
