your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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