So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
