Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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