it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
