Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
