I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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