If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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