The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
