i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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