Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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