I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
