he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it because I queefed?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
