True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
