just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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