There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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