ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
