I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
