I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
