We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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