yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Alive.
So much puke
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
