ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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