he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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