nutella sex= disaster
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
