people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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