I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
