Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
