Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
