They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
