Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
