can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
