arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Michael Bay diarrhea
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
