Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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