Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
