and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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