TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
